Bug repellent is neither a condiment or an aphrodisiac.
The golf outing dinner or dare I say “dinner” is a unique yet very important part of the golf outing day. Some see it as a nice gesture for the non golfer in your life, especially since you have been gone all day playing golf. Go ahead and check off that little box to let them know you will have someone coming and pay the extra twenty five dollars, even though you know that the dinner will be little more than someone grilling burgers and brats, or at best, a buffet line inside the clubhouse. But your heart was in the right place when you checked off that little box, and that is all that matters. Or is it?
As a committee member you are excited to see as many little boxes checked as possible because you both make money on the meals and bodies bring money to spend, yet you are far too often disappointed that you never have as many joining you for dinner as you had hoped, but we both know that you really didn’t work all that hard on it, did you?
Since the dinner is such a strong part of your overall golf outing revenue, it always surprises me that committee’s have not seen the reality of what the golf outing “dinner” is or rather should be.
For the sake of this article, let us assume that all of the golfers in your outing are men. They are away from the office, out in the sun, and more than likely with their buddies as opposed to clients. For them, it is really not as much about the golf, but about everything that goes along with it. Drinking, cigar smoking having some fun and cutting loose for a day.
Looking at their buddies, they realize the sun has started to do a pretty good job on their skin, so they must be in the same condition. Surely it is time to slather on that sunscreen that was conveniently forgotten in the clubhouse bar. More is certainly better at this time as you are already 5 holes into the round and things can only get worse from here, and the more you apply now might actually reverse the damage done. At least that is what the beer cart girl said.
But you also cannot help notice that the mosquitoes are out in full force. You wonder for a moment how that sunscreen will react or even work with the healthy dose of bug repellent that you are thinking about applying. After all, you really don’t want to lose that oily sheen that you just protected yourself with moments ago, let alone your putting stroke… but these bugs are fierce! So you start spraying it on, right over the top of the sunscreen. Content with your new level of protection, you wave the beer cart girl over for another round.
But in the back of your mind, you happen to recall or worse yet, were reminded by your playing partners that you had actually checked off that little box that the committee was so thoughtful to put on their registration form. Reality has now begun to creep in and thoughts are no longer on making the next six foot putt, but the very stark realization that your wife will be there at the end of your adventure ready to greet you for the evening meal. You better start to calculate when to stop drinking so you are not tipsy for the arrival of your wife.
All this time, golf outing coordinators are either taking advantage of the downtime to catch their breath from the morning rush or the ambitious ones are setting up things like the silent auction, raffle prize table and making sure that there are enough napkins to go around. They are counting on this next big influx of cash to measure their success. The problem is, their players are going to arrive for the after golf festivities sunburned, tired, sore, miserable from golfing poorly, sweaty and slathered in either sunscreen, bug spray or perhaps both, worrying about missing work that day and probably a bit drunk. But there, all dressed up, looking great, smelling pretty, hair combed to perfection is the realization of that little box that they checked before the round. Your wife, wondering why she came to this mess after seeing you with your shirt untucked and sweat stained, cargo shorts wrinkled and one sock rolled up while the other inexplicably rolled down to your shoe top. Oddly you are wondering why there are only 9 other wives in the room when the field was 144.
As a golf outing coordinator you might have wondered why golf outing dinners last only forty five minutes? You wonder why you get only 20% of the field to bring their spouse to the after round dinner? You wonder why wives are not too thrilled that their husbands play in golf outings? You wonder why silent auction offerings are not bid on?
The problem is that golf outing coordinators look at the outing through the eyes of the golfer, but use those very same eyes to view the dinner. But the reality clearly shows this “customer” is not at all the same as their golfing customer and this one deserves more than a checkbox on a registration form!
The answer is a simple one. Golf outings are not at all about golf. They are about making money and nothing else! Hold your dinner, raffle, silent or live auction and all fundraising activities the night before the actual game of golf.
Think about it this way… All of a sudden, everyone is clean, hair combed, dressed for the occasion and there for one reason, to spend money supporting your cause.
The spouses actually get a night out with their partners without sitting next to several sweat stained golf shirts. Perhaps there is a band playing, dancing, karaoke or other lively activity meant to keep interest and attendees on hand. There is a reason to interact, spend money and support your cause.
You will find that the dinner actually will last more than 45 minutes and the spouses don’t have to sit through the inane awards for closest to the pin on #15 and the long drive on hole #7. You will notice a participation rate of nearly 100% or more if families are invited. You will see smiling faces, laughter and you will only be left counting your money from the success that you have brought to your golf outing.
And, oh yeah… the next day is golf for those guys, nothing more. The same sweating, cigar smoking, sunburned, over served guys that you would have had playing in your event are still there, but now they are there on their time, with no concern for having to calculate when to stop indulging themselves. When they are done with golf, you hand out the trophies and thank them for coming. You have allowed boys to be boys for the entire round, not for an abbreviated portion because they had to be presentable for their wives. You have made their spouses happy with a nice evening out, you have run a financially successful event and you don’t have to worry about being behind the fat guy in the buffet line, covered in bug repellant that decided to go fishing for the serving spoon in the macaroni salad with the same hand that he used to apply sunscreen to the back of his hairy neck.